It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for some Republicans to get into heaven. (Pt. 1)

Where, oh where, to start on this one? (P.S. -- I know Deuteronomy is in the OT and that Jesus didn't really say it on earth, but God is Jesus is the Holy Spirit and they're all part of the same whole.)

How about this:

"There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." Deuteronomy 15:11

Or this:

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least among you, you did not do for me.'" Matthew 25:41-45

Or maybe this:

"People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." 1 Timothy 6:9-10


I haven't been a Christian in years; I received an off-and-on upbringing as a Southern Baptist, largely because my granddaddy was a minister. To this day, I believe that, while he may not be the only way to heaven (if heaven exists), Jesus was still a pretty cool dude. Modest, humble, generous, non-judgmental, slow to anger, all-inclusive, lover of honesty and hater of hypocrisy--he sounds like the kind of friend everyone ought to have. And, he sounds like a liberal.

He says do not store up treasures, God will provide for you. He says that a wealthy man should be kind and generous to his less fortunate brethren. He says that the love of money leads to corruption. He says that he is no better, no more deserving, than the next guy, and that we should all lend a hand to each other.

Sounds like a liberal!

Now, some people might argue that Jesus would be a conservative because he doesn't like gays. To this I say, although Jesus may disapprove of homosexuality (and I'm not a bit convinced of this, but for the sake of argument, I'll make a half-assed, not-really concession), he would never punish a gay man for love. Sex, maybe, but not love. Let's not forget that Jesus hung around with what the Pharisees considered to be the scum of the earth. The people he kept company with were sinners through and through--so, please, make your case about how he welcomes whores and lepers but snubs the gays, please. I'd love to hear it so I can tell you how wrong it is. Jesus loves everyone, even gays.

Someone might argue that Jesus was anti-taxes, and that would make him a conservative. Wrong! Jesus was against the corruption in the taxation system. Did you read the quote above about being openhanded to the poor and needy? That's redistribution of wealth, my friends, to some degree. I don't think Jesus would disapprove of a tax surplus going to health care, social security, and other reforms that help the poor. He's probably aware that, if the government doesn't do it, nobody will.

Speaking of Jesus being anti-corruption, what do you think he would think of invading a sovereign nation to raid their natural resources? Pretty greedy, Bush and Cheney. Jesus is decidedly anti-greed.

Let's all face it: Jesus was a liberal hippie bordering on pinko commie. He was a sandal-wearing, granola-eating, peace-loving liberal liberal liberal.

Which means that either Bush is lying about doing God's will, or God is playing a righteous joke on W. 'Cause I'm pretty sure that God and Jesus are having none of this.

More later.